When I tell people I'm going to Thailand I always proceeded to get the infamous question "Why?". In typical Gianna fashion, I save a little face and simply tell them something to the effect that it's been a dream trip and Kacey was the only human crazy enough to join me on this endeavor. To me though it is much more than that. For those of you that even remotely know me understand that I find pleasure is doing things for others, even if that means at the expense of myself. However, after selflessly serving others in an attempt to save the world, it was about damn time that I claimed my "self" back and really learned to love me for me. What did this look like exactly? It meant transferring schools (UC Santa Barbara), moving alone and making new friends yet again...my favorite thing to do. Let me tell you though, there is not one day that passes that I regret my decision. College continues to not only supply a wealth of knowledge in academia, but it has taught me invaluable life lessons that may people will go an entire life time with out ever fully grasping. When I started college I was so type A it was almost painful, then again I come by that honestly because apples don't fall far from the trees. Entering the science field was and has been series of up hills battles in an attempt for life to tell me to chill the hell out. My days of putting life into a bento box as I knew it were over; Life is messy, it never goes a according to plan, and breadth of things are often times are to big to fit into a definitive shape. That's when it became apparent to me that in order to truly become a successful biologist, it was going to take A LOT of self talk, self reflection, deep breaths allowing yourself be present in the moment and the occasional breakdown to genuinely allow yourself to feel whatever it is that you are feeling. So how did this trip to Thailand really come about?  Well remember that whole Type A mentality I've been battling with? Over the course of this past academic year I spent numerous hours behind the computer screen applying to prestigious nation wide internships with a 5% chance of actually attaining the position. With the obvious foresight that my likelihood of getting the position was slim to none, I had developed a multitude of back up plans. I was sure that my plan was full proof cause I was bound to get AT LEAST one right? WRONG. This was quite possible one of the most overwhelming senses of rejection I have ever felt since entering my field because for the last 3 summers I was fortunate enough to have an internships. Lab, one place I felt like I truly excelled, had now been a source of rejection not just once, but a multitude of times. In a melodramatic fashion, the weight of life seemed to coming down upon me and I wasn't quite sure how much I was able to bare. I allowed my self a few days to feel upset and ungrateful. I then proceeded to pick my self up, put my big girl panties on and make the best of what was laid before me. I decided this was life's way of opening up the space for me to live, to do something for myself, for me to work on myself. I was putting into practice what I had slowly garnered on my daily bike rides to school. I realized that in hindsight life is short; We are not guaranteed a tomorrow and I was longer willing to wait for anyone. I am going to go out and do what makes me genuinely happy and I am going to stop the damn flower to make sure that I am unapologetically present in that moment.  So naturally I decided  it was be fitting to travel to the place that had captivated my heart from 8,600 miles without every being there so that I may come away with more than I left with. Thank you baring through this long and verbose explaining of what this trip really means to me, but thats what makes the blog title so apropos. I can't thank you all enough for your unwavering support on my decisions, however, my desire is that by sharing my story that through it will encourage you to do the same. I would love nothing more than to inspire you to look at life from a more rudimentary level and genuinely appreciate the intricacies of life that have been handed to us. Much love to all of you humans!